The piece that i choose for publication is my creative piece.  I choose this piece because it’s more of me.  I was allowed to write to fit my audience… Not the white man’s audience.  I was able to think in my own concept and talk the way that I wanted to talk and not anyone elses.  I’m sending my story to the publication’s of a black author named Zane.

For this being the first half of the semester I feel that I have accomplished a considerable amount of work.  I have learned that the whole research process isn’t as easy as people make it.  Finding journals on my topic make me sick.  I can never really find anything and I hate going to people trying to get help because then they always have a sob story like they don’t understand what I’m asking for. 

Personally I like the way that everything is drawn out from point one until the end.  Marlen is a fine teacher but I don’t think that he understands the amount of work that he gives out.  It’s not that the work is hard but when it comes to putting with all the other fifty million classes and test that I have to take this shit is time consuming.  My goal is just to finish this paper and get a good paper. I can probably perform better if I had a more complex topic.

My new title is called SITUATIONS

For my last paper I am writing a short story. My short story will just have some things from my research paper. It will talk about what 3 sets of college reltionships and situations they face.

How important is this for people to know about?

I am somewhat excited to write this paper for it helps me to lay off of the tenstion that I had from writing that dumb ass research paper. I want people to know that sex is somewaht important in a persons everyday life but the extent of the relationship with the person that you are with is  more important. I am up with writng a short story because to me it’s less frustrating. Everything right now doesn’t matter to me because I hate college. I hate the fact that no one takes into consideration that we have other shit to do. College gives you no ability to a social life if you ask me. I swear I’m just ready to hang myself. I now see why so many college students are so suicidal. Cause of classes like this that requires 15 page papers. Shit shit shit shit shit….. That’s how I really feel at this moment. Many probably feel that same way but are afraid to say it but shit at this point I really don’t care. 

 Nundi Benson

Marlen Harrison

English 202

21 March 21, 2008

Sex Positions among College Students; What Positions Are College Students Willing To Engage In

            Living in the world as a college bound students we tend to try things that are usually different than what we are used to experiencing.  Whether it is getting into a new relationship, being friends or just plain old “friends with benefits” (a male and female without a relationship attachment). The statement “Friends with benefits” means: Two people who have sex with no attachment, and are not emotionally involved.   In this paper we will examine certain intimacy levels that the college students between the ages of 18-25 at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) are willing to fulfill in the bedroom.  The questions being asked are “how far is too far with sex positions?  Are college students willing to fulfill any sexual need or just some? The reason for this topic is to prove the point that some college students do have limits when it comes to sex positions when not in a committed relationship.

            “Research has shown that when dealing with a relationship that is based on sex, women seem to get more emotionally involved.”  (Adowitz & Knox, 2003)  I find this to be important for my paper because later on I will show how much of an important role it plays when women choose not to engage in certain sex pleasantries with their friends with benefits or their companion.  

In a past situation when dealing with a man I went into the situation with the mind frame that I just wanted to have sex just to see how good he could please me; then ended up with crazy feelings because his sex was just that good.  He wanted to try anal sex, but to me it was a health risk, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_sex) so I politely said no.   Being the non-sluttish women that he wanted me to be, I moved on from the situation because I knew that a relationship would never work.  Especially, since I was unwilling to engage in some of things that he wanted.  I just do not see the point in being so submissive to a man in the bedroom if he is not guaranteed to be in my life too long. I just do not get aroused when it comes to anus sex and some types of foreplay.

            When it comes to men they are more sexually focused. (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001)  This in some cases maybe a true statement, growing up in the inner city, I have met many men who have sex with women and do not think anything of it after they are done.  The men end up having sex with the woman than bail.  If a women is willing to go that extra mile the men usually fucks than flee the girls.  At times this can also go vice versa.  The man can come out with feelings just as women, but most men will never admit it.

 Biosocial theory emphasizes the interaction of one’s biological/ genetic inheritance with one’s social environment to explain and predict human behavior.  Borrowing from evolutionary psychology, sociobiology, and psychobiology; biosocial theory uses the concepts of adaptation, fitness, natural selection and may help to explain different gender views of relationship pairings (Ingoldsby, Smith, and Miller).  Most research on sex differences in sexual behavior find that women when compared to men, have traditionally reported significantly lower rates of masturbatory, premarital, and extramarital sexual behavior (all lower rates) (Michael et al. 1994).  Traditionally, rural and religious backgrounds have been associated with conservative sexual values (Michael, Gagnon, Laumann & Kolata, 1994; Udry, Kovenock, and Morris and Van den Burg, 1955).

Social learning theory also points to the nurturing of women for emotional relationships and the fear instilled in them to avoid negative labels from society for their sexuality.  The women in love in a friends with benefits relationship are understood and respected.  The sexually hedonistic women (in contrast to the sexually hedonistic man) in a friends with benefits relationship is victim of the sexual double standard- she is a “slut” but he is a “stud.”  In an effort to avoid such labeling, the woman defines the context as emotional and emphasizes this aspect of the relationship when discussing it with her friends.  (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001).

Thus, I am a college student on the IUP campus and I had to deal with myself on this topic.  I had to question myself about what would I do.  Am I willing to engage in any type of sex play with my companion?  My answer is no.  There are some things that I can honestly say that I will not do.  It is not that I am not willing to try new things, but some things just seem so uncouth.  I mean what if this is a friend with benefits situation how will he look at me at the end of the night if I agree to half of the stuff that he wants to do.  I am not a person that does well with name labels so I know that I will go crazy.  Now do not get me wrong some things can be done to make the time more fulfilling to the both of us but then again what is it?  These are questions that I constantly ask myself.

            There have been several occasions where my heterosexual female friends and I have come together and have talked sex on a personal level of what they will or will not do on a personal level in the bed room.  One question was on anal sex… Are you willing?  The answer is always no.  I mean they do not put people down that do it but figure that it is something that others are comfortable with but not them.  They always say “It sometimes hurts to poop so anal sex could be worse.”  Someone even came to say “dang my man has a big penis and it sometimes hurts when he sticks it in my vagina so if he sticks it in my anus it will bust me wide open.”  Personally, I think that every woman who has not tried this sex position feels this way as well.  I have male and female friends who have tried anal sex so I asked them “how does anal sex feel” for my wanting to know and they always respond with the same answers “the first time it hurts because you are tense and you squeeze your anus muscles, but once it is in there and he goes slow then works it in right it feels good.” “It makes the female cum faster and more.”  I have never tried it so I just go with what I hear, who am I to judge.

            During the process of socialization, men and women are assumed to learn what is appropriate as they learn the culturally-condoned roles related to sexual behavior. These roles vary according to sex and are assumed to be culturally bound to conceptions of masculinity and femininity (Gagnon, 1990; Jackson, 1978).  Most people do not understand what appropriate is, they just have meaningless sex.  So what do they get out of it?  Emotions?  They are expected to engage in sex only within committed relationships and for intimacy rather than physical reasons (Muehlenhard, 1988; Tetreault & Barnett, 1987). 

            As you can see the same concerns that I have about sex have come up over 20 years ago.  There is a reason for this.  So many people think that there are many appropriateness towards sex.  For example, men generally report having had more past sexual partners compared to women, are more likely to report initiating sexual activity within intimate relationships (Byers & Heinlein, 1989; O’SulIivan & Byers, 1992), and to rate sexual intercourse as the most important aspect of sexual interactions (compared to “foreplay” and “afterplay”) (Denney, Field, & Ouadagno, 1984).Women, compared to men, are more likely to refuse sexual invitations, at least from strangers (Clark & Hatfield, 1989), and are more likely to report desiring sex within committed rather than casual relationships (Ehrlichman & Eichenstein, 1992).  I asked my self what is foreplay and after play the definitions that I found says: Sexual stimulation preceding or after intercourse. (Dictionary of English Language)

            The way that people view what is deemed right or wrong in the bedroom stems from what their parents, and community tells them. Certain things in certain communities and religions are looked down upon. Children learn this at a young age and it is dilled into them as they get older. When they do engage in sexual activity they tend to follow what they are taught and refuse to engage in these sexual acts.  Society plays a huge part in everything people do. We have become a more sexual society over the years, but older generations have looked at sex as something that needed not to be discussed and they taught their children this. This legacy was passed to the younger generations (current college age students).

            To find out what is too far and how far are most willing to go. We have to look at the background of the person answering as well as the answer itself. Some people even when they are taught one thing, they go and do something else. Why is this?  Because they feel that they have to try something in order to actually put it down.  So these college students at least try it once and after that if they like it they continue on with it and if they do not like it they leave it alone. 

            Some sex positions are somewhat crazy but they are what makes having sex fun.  There are so many positions out there that people trying that it’s a little funny.  When it comes to college students most try the obvious what they are used to with friends with benefits and sometimes the unexpected with companions.  In my opinion we should be open for anything when it comes to pleasing the other half but question is will the other half be down for pleasing us. (I think not)  From a woman’s point of view if college males were willing to engage in anything that the women wanted to do (i.e. stick her finger in his anal, have a threesome with another man involved) how would they be looked at?  I mean companions or friends with benefits have to look at trying certain sex positions in a different prospective when it comes to a person having a reputation when the sex is finished. Sex positions should come with limits when it comes to both male and female especially if they are not in a committed relationship.

            The results for this paper were established through an online survey completed by male and female IUP college students between the ages of 18 and 25.  Students were asked three multiple choice questions and two open ended questions.  The questions asked were: What is your gender (male, female, transgender)?   What is your sexual preference (male, female, both)?  How are you willing to have sex (man on top, woman on top, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, standing positions, sitting positions, oral sex, anal sex, with more than one person at the same time, or with the same sex)?  Why do you not engage in certain sex positions?  How far is too far?  Are you willing to try every sex position out there or just keeping at it basics?   

            Through this paper we will see how some intimacy levels play a certain role in some college students lives.  This paper will also have information based on real life situations and conversations between my friends and me.  In my opinion, I think that most college students will be willing to do almost anything.  Males who are not homosexual will not be willing to have sex with the same sex or engage in anal sex.  Women who have a bad thought of anal sex will probably never be willing to engage in it.

            I wanted to ask these questions because at a point in my life I could truly say that I loved to have sex.  I was once asked if I had twenty-four hours to live what would I spend my time doing.  In response, I said “I would have sex.”  Yes, eyebrows were raised but that was my honest answer at that time.  Yes it does sound kind of crazy but through it all being safe is my number one focus.  I am afraid of STD’s (herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc) so I find myself to be as careful as can be when engaging in sex.  Sex to me is a privilege, so some things are not going to take place.  For example, I do not believe in anal sex. When it comes to having sex with a guy, when a women gets too sexual she maybe labeled as a “slut” or “hoe” and those are names that no woman should take on no matter what she does behind closed doors.  So that is where I put my men to a test of at least  three months before engaging in any intercourse, and when we do decide to engage in intercourse the guy only gets the basics.  Truly, I believe if I show him everything when we first begin, the sex will get boring.  I do not allow the guy to see the “freak” in me.  If we are together long enough, he can then see the freaky side of me, it just takes time.  Again I began to put into consideration if he has waited until I can tell if he is not one of the guys who “think that after they get her into the bed they talk about how “easy she is”, or if something does not go their way the sex was “wacky”.  If girls knew that their names were going to be publicized as a “slut” or “hoe” some of the things they do in the bedroom would come to an end.  Being a college woman, things that happen with sex are so predictable when it comes to having a friend with benefits.  Some of the guys will never take a woman seriously if she says that sex is her intentions.  Then she is automatically “hoe”.  Yeah, this is crazy but it is true.  Women are not allowed to just be themselves in the bedroom without worrying about her reputation.  I have seen this happen to many of the girls who began this college experience with me and they have been disrespected so badly by the guys on campus because of the sex positions they were willing to indulge in.

            This survey was taken by 38 students all of different races. There were ten male and twenty eight females. Female (1) I am interested in men.  I am willing to have sex with the man on top, me on top, standing positions, sitting positions, and rear entry man on top. I do not engage in certain sex positions because I have not found the right person.  There are many things that happen in the bedroom that are just too far for a person to go.  No I am not willing to try every sex position. Female (2) I am interested in men. I am willing to have sex with the man on top, me on top, standing positions, sitting positions, rear entry man on top, and oral sex.  The only position I really won’t do is anal sex…and I don’t even really think that is a position. I think that is a whole different type of sex. I do not think that there is really a too far as long as I am comfortable with a guy than I am willing to try whatever he wants to. I think it’s important and fun to mix it up in the bedroom.  Female (3) I am interested in men.  I am will to have sex with the man on top, me on top, standing positions, sitting positions, rear entry man on top, and oral sex.  I don’t engage in certain sex positions because something’s just aren’t my style.  But I will at least try everything once. Female (4) I am interested in men. I am willing to have sex with the man on top, standing positions, sitting positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, and with more than one person at the same time.  I do not engage in certain sex positions because I do not think that anal sex is any type of pleasure. I tried it once and it was the worst thing ever.  To me there is not a too far with sex positions I think everything is worth trying once.  It could sound like the worst thing ever but feel the best!  Female (5) I am interested in men. I am willing to have sex with the man on top and woman on top. I am not into anal at all; I do not feel the need to take it to that level. I also hate giving oral, I hate the salty taste! Ha. As for how far as I stated anal is too far for me. Maybe not too far, but it is too much. No thanks.  Female (6) I am interested in men. I prefer having sex with the man on top, man on top rear entry, sitting positions and oral sex.  I do not engage in certain sex positions because it just not for me.  I can deal with basic sex because I don’t really like to try new things it’s kind of a rear chance of me having an orgasm.  Female (7) I am interested in men. I prefer having sex with man on top, woman on top, and oral sex. I do not engage in certain sex positions because certain positions make me feel more vulnerable, or uncomfortable. I’m very self-conscious with my body, so certain positions make me feel more exposed.   As for how far is too far, eh right now just basic is what I am willing to do. Maybe someday I’ll get a little more outgoing with someone I really care about, but right now, I’m just not comfortable going out of my comfort zones.  Female (8) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, and oral sex.  I don’t engage in anal sex because it your ass for crying out loud. Who wants to take ass shots I shit form there. I will never have sex with more than one person at the same time I’m a lady and it’s just something that ladies do not do.  I’m not gay have never been gay so fucking with a woman is not going to pull it.  I’m willing to do all the sex positions except for the ones that seem just nasty i.e. anal, a three some, and same sex. If my boyfriend wants to do all the other ones I will. I mean you have to please your man.  Female (9) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with man on top, and woman on top.  I do not engage in certain sex positions because it’s not my style.  When it comes to how far is too far every thing is too far.  I keep it basic because less is more.  Female (10) I am interested in men. I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more that one person at a time, and with the same sex.  I’ve never actually had anal sex, but that is more because the right situation hasn’t arisen yet. Don’t ask me what the right situation is, I just think that it will happen eventually. (And honestly, it is just a little bit scary).  I am willing to try almost anything that I feel comfortable with at a given moment with a given person(s). I was going to say just now that I need to feel very intimate with a person for certain sex positions, but that- I guess- is a lie. It’s more about the situation and the passion involved. I’m not incredibly open because I have sex a lot (I don’t), I am just intensely curious about everything in my life right now. Male, female, oral- anything that will stimulate ecstasy for the two (or more) people in the situation.  Female (11) I am interested in both male and female.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more that one person at a time, and with the same sex.  At times I do not feel the need to participate in all of the positions because it sometimes too much work.  With me there is never a too far when it comes to some sex positions because I’m a very open person. I’m willing to try anything once.  Female (12) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, and oral sex.  I do not engage in certain sex positions because I’m not into anything going up my butt and I don’t want to do it with more than one person because sex is very intimate and personal and I want to enjoy that with one person.  I would try new things as long as they don’t make me uncomfortable.  Female (13) I am interested in both male and female.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more that one person at a time, and with the same sex. Up to this point, there hasn’t been anything I wouldn’t try.  I’m willing to try anything. Keeping sex basic isn’t at all appealing to me. I like fun and adventurous things in my life, why would I exclude sex?? So there is nothing that I will not try.  Female (14) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, and oral sex.  I don’t engage in sex with multiple partners at one time or same gender sex partly because I don’t morally believe in it, but I also don’t have any interest in it. Anal sex I consider to be just dirty, plus it is risky because you can hurt the lining of your rectum very easily.  As long as it’s not anal, I’m pretty much open to all positions. I’m willing to try anything once. Never know… May end up liking it a lot! I know doggy style is one of my boyfriend’s favorites.  Female (15) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more that one person at a time, and with the same sex.  I’ve been with the same guy for almost 6 years; we’ve done it all more than once.  And every time an opportunity presents itself with something new, we give it a try.  Yeah… let’s git ‘er done. There isn’t a “too far” if you ask me… maybe I’ll find the limit someday.  Female (16) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, and sex with more that one person at a time.  Some positions I don’t prefer just because of my size and my insecurities about my weight and movement.  When it comes to how far is too far it would depend on who I’m with. If it’s someone that I have been dating for a while then I’d feel more comfortable about trying new and freaky things with him. Some factors other factors could include where we’re at ex. car/public places… but it all varies on the person and the state of mind I’m in…  Female (17) I am interested in both male and female.  I prefer to have sex with the woman on top, and oral sex.  I have not engaged in certain sex positions just because I just haven’t tried them all yet.  There are certain ones that are too far when engaging in certain sex positions like eating someone’s ass that are just too far.  Do you know what comes out the ass?  Female (18) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the male on top, and woman on top.  I do not engage I certain positions because they are not my style; some would not be comfortable. Basic works fine for me. Also I only would have 1 life partner.  Female (19) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, rear entry man on top and standing positions.  I don’t engage in certain sex positions because I don’t like them.  I am willing to try some sex positions it just depends on with who, where at and the mood I am in. Female (20) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, and oral sex.  I do not engage in certain sex positions because it’s not my style to do anal sex, I just don’t think it would feel good or even turn me on at all. I also wouldn’t have a threesome at this point of my life because my boyfriend isn’t into it and I wouldn’t like to share myself and my boyfriend with a third party. I am not attracted to women only men so I would not have sex with another female.  I would try other sex positions. I see nothing wrong with exploration especially the longer you and your partner have been together because than you need some excitement and new things to try out.  Female (21) I am interested in females.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more that one person at a time, and with the same sex.  I try everything once.  I like to try new things to mix it up, now if someone was like “I just want to shit on your chest” that’s a little too far for me but usually I’ll try everything once.  Female (22) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, and oral sex.  I usually do not engage in certain sex positions because it’s not my style.   I’m fairly open to everything, as long as it’s not anal or anything to out of the ordinary I’ll try it.  Female (23) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with me being on top.  I don’t engage in some things because I do not like some of them and they are uncomfortable and gross.  Female (24) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, standing positions, rear entry man on top, and oral sex.  I will only engage in those that I previously stated for now.  When in serious relationship with a man, trying out new things will keep the relationship more interesting but right now other things are to far because I’m not n a committed relationship.  Female (25) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with me being on top.  I don’t engage in certain things because I’m usually not comfortable, and some are not my favorite positions. At some point and time it’s nice to spice things up a bit!  Female (26) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, standing positions, rear entry man on top, and oral sex.  I don’t engage in certain things because I am lazy and not that flexible. I like to keep it basic because I can achieve an orgasm without the extra stuff.  Female (27) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, oral sex, sex with more that one person at a time, and with the same sex.  I will only turn down something that I do not feel comfortable with.  I’m willing to try everything in time, especially with someone that I have been with for a long time. i.e. my husband.  Female (28) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, oral sex, and anal sex.  I don’t engage in certain sex positions because I’m simply not interested.  It depends on the mood I’m in. I think though some positions are too kinky and since I have had lots of experience with sex I don’t know how far is too far for me.  Male (1) I am interested in women.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, and anal sex.  I’ll do any sex position.  I’ll try anything with my girlfriend. The line is drawn with other people.  Male (2) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more than one person at a time, and with the same sex.  I like all sex positions.  With me there is no such thing as too far.  Male (3) I am interested in women.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more than one sex partner at a time.  I’m pretty much open to anything minus same sex intercourse. I like to mix it up and keep things interesting.  I’m willing to try just about anything. The “basics” get boring if that’s all you do.  Male (4) I am interested in women.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, and sex with more than one sex partner at a time.  I will do just about anything just not anal.  I will not do anal because I am not gay and that is exit only.  Male (5) I am interested in women.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, sex with more than one sex partner at a time.  I will engage in anything except anal sex and same sex relations.  I will do any position my body can sustain … position switching is key…  Male (6) I am interested in women.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more than one sex partner at a time.  Well I am willing to try anything new as long as it doesn’t involve anything gay.  Well personally for me the only thing that is too far is anything that is gay. I don’t put anything in my ass, have sex with men, oral sex with men, basically anything that has to do with women and nothing gay I’m willing to do.  Male (7) I am interested in women.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more than one sex partner at a time.  Different sex positions are FUN!!  I’m willing to go all the way no guys though.  Male (8) I am interested in men.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, oral sex, anal sex, and with the same sex.  One is because of sexual preference and the other is I’m not comfortable with having sex with more than one person at a time.  I am willing to try ALMOST anything, as long as it stays within my sexual preference. I’m usually open to try something new. Who knows, it may be the best sex I’ve ever had.  Male (9) I am interested in women.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more than one sex partner at a time.  I engage in all sex because trying new things is always exciting.  Really there is no too far in a relationship with me we just have mind blowing sex with lots of positions.  Male (10) I am interested in women.  I prefer to have sex with the man on top, woman on top, sitting positions, standing positions, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, oral sex, anal sex, sex with more than one sex partner at a time. I’m game for anything…  I just get a huge thrill out of trying new things…

            According to my literature review there are some things that I agree with that are said through my peers.  I can agree with the statement that some positions should only be done if there is a life long partner involved.  As for having sex with more than one person at a time I do not see the need.  I think that if you have to bring a second person in to the bedroom then obviously each person is lacking something in the bedroom.  My peers in my opinion have made some very good points as to why they engage into certain sex positions and not others.  As college students I feel that we have so many years to go with having sex why not save a little mystery for the future.  What I wish that I would have gotten some longer responses to the open ended questions that was the time for students to really express their thought’s on what sex really is to them.

            In conclusion, as many can see some of the things that I thought were supported.  Some college students are willing to go that extra mile to make their companion feel good.  There are also some who feel that keeping it basic is the best way to go.  With writing this paper I have come to the conclusion that most people do not worry about what the person they are sleeping with thinks about them after they have finished having sex.  Not to be judge mental or anything but some of my peers are freaks.  Some of the people who have taken my survey feel that there is no limit to sex.  I see this being the answer to those who are married but for those who are just in casual friends with benefits relationships should wait until marriage for certain sex positions. 

            From reading the responses in the survey I feel that I have a better understanding of college students and what sex positions they are willing to do although some of mine would be limited.  It allows me to see that most college students do not have limits. If the sex is right, college students go with it.  One student that I do admire is the one who said that they are unwilling to do certain things because of religious reasons.  If more college students thought like this student I think a lot of college sex would calm down.  The thing that I wish about my research is that more women thought about the way men or other people would judge them after having sex.    

             Ok so everyone knows that I’ve done my research paper on “How Far Is Too Far”  “Are College Students Willing To Fulfill Every Sex Position”.  So now it’s time to create a creative piece.  In this creative piece I’m going to write a short story about three college students in relationships.  In each of the relationships the students will be faced with the options of trying something new in this new found relationship that they have gotten into.  Question is will they comply with what their companion wants in the bedroom or not.  In this paper I will use certain information that is placed in my research paper to get my point across.  It’s just a matter of writing it and not making it sound the same as my research paper. 

So the couples in this story are as fallowed Niara and Shawn, Tyreek and Malik, and Mara, and Sharee. 

            Niara and Shawn are seeing each other but only see themselves as friends with benefits.  Niara has caught major feelings and wants to take the relationship to the next level but Shawn wants to stay where they are.  Niara feels that since they sleep with each other almost every night that they should be more. After repeatedly talking to Shawn about it she gives up because she feels that it will go no where but in one ear and out the other.  So she continues to have sex with Shawn.  Shawn wants to try new things with Niara but doesn’t want to commit …..What will Niara do?

            Tyreek and Malik is a gay couple and are in a very committed relationship.  They have been dating for two years since their freshman year in school.  Malik feels that the relationship is beginning to get boring so he asks Tyreek if they can add a little spice and add a woman. Malik is Tyreek is heavily thinking…….

            Mara and Sharee is a lesbian couple and are in a non-committed relationship.  Mara sees Sharee and another girl on a date but decides she wants to stir up confusion.  She begins to go many deceiving things that piss Sharee off.  They get into a major fight…..Where does the future lie

            As you can see each story has a problem so how will resolve this……..
To Be Continued

             Living in the world as a college based students so many things seem to come your way.  Whether it is hooking up in a new relationship, being friends, or just plain old friends with benefits.  In this paper you will be able to recognize certain intimacy levels that the college students between the ages of 18-25 at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) are willing to take on in the bed room.  The question that is being asked is how far is too far?  Are these college students willing to fulfill any sexual need or just some?  Do some of these sexual positions seem more down grading than others?  I came to feel that I wanted to know these questions because I love to have sex.  I was once asked if I had twenty-four hours to live what would I spend my time doing.  I responded having sex.  Eyebrows were raised but that was my honest to god answer.  Yes, it sounds kind of crazy but through it all I play it safe.  I am afraid of STD’s so I find myself to be as careful as can be when engaging in sex.  Sex is a privilege when it comes to me so some things are not going to take place when it comes to happening with me.  I do not believe in anal sex at all, and when it comes to sex with guys sometimes when you get too freaky you are labeled as a slut or hoe.  So I put my men to a test three months before intercourse, and then they get the basics and if we are together long enough they can get a little more of my freaky side. (LOL) But that has to wait until I can tell that they are not one of them fake dudes.  I know for sure that if girls knew that there name was going to be put out as a slut or hoe some of the things they do in the bedroom would come to an end.  Being a college woman things that happen on this college campus sex wise are so predictable when it comes to having a friend with benefits.  Some of the guys will never take you serious if your just say that is your intention.  You are automatically a hoe.  Yeah it is crazy but it is so true.  We as women are not allowed to just be us in the bedroom with out worrying about our reputation later.  I have seen this happen to many of the girls who began this college experience with me and they have been dogged so badly by these guys on this college campus just because of the positions they are willing to fulfill.     

            The way these results were established is through an online survey completed by college students who were willing to complete it.  All answers were confidential so that no one had to worry about their identity being revealed. Students were asked three multiple choice questions and two open ended questions.  The questions asked were: What is your gender (male, female, transgender)?   What is your sexual preference (male, female, both)?  How are you willing to have sex (man on top, woman on top, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, standing positions, sitting positions, oral sex, anal sex, with more than one person at the same time, or with the same sex)?  Why do you not engage in certain sex positions?  How far is too far?  Are you willing to try every sex position out there or just keeping at it basics?   Through this paper you will see how some intimacy levels play a certain role in some college students lives.  This paper will also have information based on real life situations and conversations done between my friends and me.  In my opinion I think that most college students will be willing to do almost anything.  Males who are not gay they will not be willing to have sex with the same sex or engage in anal sex.  Women who have a bad thought of anal sex will probably never be willing to engage in anal sex.  I guess we will have to keep reading to find out how college students think.    

            Research has shown that when dealing with a relationship that is just based on sex women seem to get more emotionally involved.  (Adowitz & Knox, 2003)  I find this to be important for my paper because later on in my paper it will show how much of an important role it plays when women choose not to engage in certain sex pleasantries with their friends with benefits or their companion. In a past situation when dealing with a man I went into the environment with the mind frame that I just wanted to have sex with the person just to see how good his sex was, then ended up coming out with crazy feelings because his sex game was just that good of course he wanted to try the anal thing, to me that was an unethical act, so I politely said no.   Being the women that I am I moved on from the situation because I knew that a relationship would never work.  Especially since I was unwilling to engage in some of things that he wanted.  I just do not see the point in sticking something in something that shit comes out of.  When it comes to men they are more sexually focused. (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001)  This in cases is a true statement coming from the background of an inner city life I see many men have sex with women and will think nothing of it after they are done.  If a women is willing to go that extra mile the men usually fucks than flee the girls.   at time they can also go vice versa.  The way that the woman may feel after sex can be the same way that the man can feel and vice versa.

    Biosocial theory emphasizes the interaction of one’s biological/ genetic inheritance with one’s social environment to explain and predict human behavior.  Borrowing from evolutionary psychology, sociobiology, and psychobiology; biosocial theory uses the concepts of adaptation, fitness, natural selection and may help to explain different gender views of relationship pairings (Ingoldsby, Smith, and Miller).  Most research on sex differences in sexual behavior find that women when compared to men, have traditionally reported significantly lower rates of masturbatory, premarital, and extramarital sexual behavior (all lower rates) (Michael et al. 1994).  Traditionally, rural and religious backgrounds have been associated with conservative sexual values (Michael, Gagnon, Laumann & Kolata, 1994; Udry, Kovenock, and Morris and Van den Burg, 1955).  Social learning theory also points to the nurturing of women for emotional relationships and the fear instilled in them to avoid negative labels from society for their sexuality.  The women in love in a friends with benefits relationship are understood and respected.  The sexually hedonistic women (in contrast to the sexually hedonistic man) in a friends with benefits relationship is victim of the sexual double standard- she is a “slut” but he is a “stud.”  In an effort to avoid such labeling, the women defines the context as emotional and emphasizes this aspect of the relationship when discussing it with her friends.  (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001). 

            Thus,  I am a college student on the IUP campus and I had to deal with myself on this topic.  I had to question myself about what would I do.  Am I willing to engage in any type of sex play with my companion?  My answer is no.  There are some things that I can honestly say that I will not do.  It is not that I am not willing to try new things, but some things just seem so uncouth.  I mean what if this is a friend with benefits situation how will he look at me at the end of the night if I agree to half of the stuff that he wants to do.  I am not a person that does well with name labels so I know that I will go crazy.  Now do not get me wrong some things can be done to make the time more fulfilling to the both of us but then again what is it?  These are questions that I constantly ask myself.

            There have been several occasions where my heterosexual female friends and I have come together and have talked sex on a personal level of what they will or will not do on a personal level in the bed room.  One question was on anal sex… Are you willing?  The answer is always no.  I mean we do not put people down that do it but we figure that it is something that others are comfortable doing but not them.  They always say “I sit down on the toilet and it hurts so how would that shit feel.”  Someone even came to say “dang my man has a big penis and it sometimes hurts when he sticks it in my vagina so if he sticks it in my ass it will bust me wide open.”  Personally, I think that every woman who has not tried this sex position feels this way as well.  I have male and female friends who have tried anal sex so I asked them “how does anal sex feel” for my wanting to know and they always respond with the same answers “the first time it hurts because you are tense and you squeeze your ass muscles, but once it is in there and he goes slow then works it in right it feels good.” “It makes the female cum faster and more.”   

            During the process of socialization, men and women are assumed to learn what is appropriate as they learn the culturally-condoned roles related to sexual behavior. These roles vary according to sex and are assumed to be culturally bound to conceptions of masculinity and femininity (Gagnon, 1990; Jackson, 1978).  Most people do not understand what appropriate is, they just have meaningless sex.  So what do they get out of it?  Emotions?  They are expected to engage in sex only within committed relationships and for intimacy rather than physical reasons (Muehlenhard, 1988; Tetreault & Barnett, 1987). 

            As you can see the same concerns that I have about sex have come up over 20 years ago.  There is a reason for this.  So many people think that there are many appropriateness towards sex.  For example, men generally report having had more past sexual partners compared to women, are more likely to report initiating sexual activity within intimate relationships (Byers & Heinlein, 1989; O’SulIivan & Byers, 1992), and to rate sexual intercourse as the most important aspect of sexual interactions (compared to “foreplay” and “afterplay”) (Denney, Field, & Ouadagno, 1984).Women, compared to men, are more likely to refuse sexual invitations, at least from strangers (Clark & Hatfield, 1989), and are more likely to report desiring sex within committed rather than casual relationships (Ehrlichman & Eichenstein, 1992).  I asked my self what is foreplay and after play the definitions that I found says: Sexual stimulation preceding or after intercourse. (Dictionary of English Language)

            The way that people view what is deemed right or wrong in the bedroom stems from what their parents, and community tells them. Certain things in certain communities and religions are looked down upon. Children learn this at a young age and it is dilled into them as they get older. When they do engage in sexual activity they tend to follow what they are taught and refuse to engage in these sexual acts.  Society plays a huge part in everything people do. We have become a more sexual society over the years, but older generations have looked at sex as something that needed not to be discussed and they taught their children this. This legacy was passed to the younger generations (current college age students).

            To find out what is too far and how far you are willing to go. We have to look at the background of the person answering as well as the answer itself. Some people even when they are taught one thing, they go and do something else. Why is this?  Because they feel that they have to try something in order to actually put it down.  So these college students at least try it once and after that if they like it they continue on with it and if they do not like it they leave it alone. 

            Some sex positions are somewhat crazy but they are what makes having sex fun.  There are so many positions out there that people try it’s funny.  But when it gets to college student most try the obvious what they are used to with friends with benefits and sometimes the unexpected with companions.  In my opinion we should be open for anything when it comes to pleasing the other half but question is will the other half be down for pleasing us. (I think not)  From a woman’s point of view if college males were willing to engage in anything that the women wanted to do (i.e. stick her finger in his anal, have a threesome with another man involved) how would they be looked at?  I mean you have to look at trying certain things in a different prospective when it comes to you having a reputation when you finish. Sex positions come with limits when it comes to both male and female. 

            In this section my results will be as fallowed: I will restate the questions that I have asked and go through one by on what each male and female says about my questions so this is where my paper stops for now.

            Living in the world as a college based students so many things seem to come your way.  Whether it is hooking up in a new relationship, being friends, or just plain old friends with benefits.  In this paper you will be able to recognize certain intimacy levels that the college students of Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) are will to take on in the bed room.  The question that is being asked is how far is too far?  Are these college students willing to fulfill any sexual need or just some?  Do some of these sexual positions seem more down grading than others?  So sit back relax and read on.

            Research has shown that when dealing with a relationship that is just based on sex women seem to get more emotionally involved.  (Adowitz & Knox, 2003)  I find this to be important for my paper because later on in my paper it will show how much of an important role it plays when women choose not to engage in certain sex pleasantries with their friends with benefits or their companion.  I find this to be a true statement when thinking about past relationships.  Where I may have just went in thinking that it would be just sex, came out with harder feelings for the person than I had be for starting.  When it comes to men they are more sexually focused. (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001)  This in cases this is a true statement coming from the background of an inner city life I see many men have sex with women and will think nothing of it after they are done.  So as you can see these statements can be true at time they can also go vice versa.  The way that the woman may feel after sex can be the same way that the man can feel and vice versa.

            As of now I am a college student on the IUP campus and I had to deal with myself on this topic.  I had to question myself about what would I do.  Am I willing to engage in any type of sex play with my companion?  My answer is no.  There are some things that I can honestly say that I will not do.  It is not that I am not willing to try new things, but some things just seem so uncouth.  I mean what if this is a friend with benefits situation how will he look at me at the end of the night if I agree to half of the stuff that he wants to do.  I am not a person that does well with name labels so I know that I will flip the hatchet.  Now do not get me wrong some things can be done to make the time more fulfilling to the both of us but then again what is it?  These are questions that I constantly ask myself.

            There have been several occasions where my friends and I have come together and have talked sex on a personal level of what would or wouldn’t they do on a personal level in the bed room.  One question was on anal sex… Are you willing?  The answer is always no.  I mean we do not put people down that do it but we figure that it is some thing that others are comfortable doing but not them.  There were times when a companion has asked me if I was willing to engage in anal sex and my answer was no.  So I start to think if he is willing to put it in my butt is he also willing to have a same sex relationship. 

            During the process of socialization, men and women are assumed to learn what is appropriate as they learn the culturally-condoned roles related to sexual behavior. These roles vary according to sex and are assumed to be culturally bound to conceptions of masculinity and femininity (Gagnon, 1990; Jackson, 1978).  Most people do not understand what appropriate is, they just have meaningless sex.  So what do they get out of it?  Emotions?  They are expected to engage in sex only within committed relationships and for intimacy rather than physical reasons (Muehlenhard, 1988; Tetreault & Barnett, 1987). 

            As you can see the same concerns that I have about sex have come up over 20 years ago.  There is a reason for this.  So many people think that there are many appropriateness towards sex.  For example, men generally report having had more past sexual partners compared to women, are more likely to report initiating sexual activity within intimate relationships (Byers & Heinlein, 1989; O’SulIivan & Byers, 1992), and to rate sexual intercourse as the most important aspect of sexual interactions (compared to “foreplay” and “afterplay”) (Denney, Field, & Ouadagno, 1984).Women, compared to men, are more likely to refuse sexual invitations, at least from strangers (Clark & Hatfield, 1989), and are more likely to report desiring sex within committed rather than casual relationships (Ehrlichman & Eichenstein, 1992).  I asked my self what is foreplay   the definition that I found says: Sexual stimulation preceding intercourse. (Dictionary of English Language)

            The way that people view what is deemed right or wrong in the bedroom stems from what their parents, and community tells them. Certain things in certain communities and religions are looked down upon. Children learn this at a young age and it is dilled into them as they get older. When they do engage in sexual activity they tend to follow what they are taught and refuse to engage in these sexual acts.  Society plays a huge part in everything people do. We have become a more sexual society over the years, but older generations have looked at sex as something that needed not to be discussed and they taught their children this. This legacy was passed to the younger generation (current college age students).

            To find out what is too far and how far you are willing to go. We have to look at the background of the person answering as well as the answer itself. Some people even when they are taught one thing, they go and do something else. Why is this?

How far is to far? What sex positions are college students unwilling and willing to do in the bedroom?

I. Introduction

a. define sex positions

b. give examples of different sex positions

c. thesis- Some people are willing to do any type of sex position in the bedroom to please their companion, where as some feel that certain things are down right nasty, so how far is to far, are they willing to do everything or just some things.

d. mythes on college students sex life

e. why you chose this topic

 II. More Detailed Explanation of problem or question

a. my friend and I always talk about sex almost on a daily basis… we always come to the conclusion that we there are certain things that we will and will not do so I figured if we feel this way how does other college students feel… are there somethings thats down grading

b. beliefs about different postions form college student both male and female

c. what age group are you writing this to

d. what does this age group feel about this

III.  Review of  the Literature/current research/trends

a.  Changes in College Women’s Attitudes towards Sexual Intimacy

IV. What you’re going to do, step by step, to address this issue- In Detail!!!! This is also called Methods or Methodology

a. survey college students of IUP male and female ranging from ages 17-25

b. gather as much info on my topic that I can find

c. write about my personal feelings about my topic

d. figure out my solution to this situation 

V. Results

VI. Discussion- in detaild what did you find? How did your results meet/not meet your expection?

a.What would the next step be?

VII. Conclusion

VIII. References/Work Cited

The book that I read was “Love Makes A Family.” I can honestly say that this a dynamic book. I mean it’s not your ordinary book where you have one two or three authors writing it there are many. Families from all over decide to tell their stories of being a family that is either a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. To some this book may not be very interesting but to me I found it to be a reality check. These families go through so much that us heterosexual families never have to go through. Why because society places them a predictiment where they try to pic their lives for them.Did you know that some homosexual families are not allowed to share insurance, health benifits, and many other things. I mean why can’t they be equal just as any other family? They are human. Society doesn’t think so. Younger children in this book who doesn’t know what the word gay means but still decides to tease another child that they are gay. When confronted and asked the meaning they have none. How fucked up is that? How about parents learn to educate their children that being homosexual is just like being heterosexul everyone just perfers what they perfer.

I know your probably wondering why I am so into this book. No, I’m not a lesbian but I do have a gay brother. I want my brother to have all of the rights that I have. I mean it’s only fair. I don’t see anything different he eats sleeps and shits just like everyone else.

The way the people that put this book together used research is by finding people of different genders, races, ethnicities, and religions to tell their stories without being prejudice or ignorant of anyones lifestyle.

This book has many quotes that I really like here are a few:

“Prejudice exists because people are scared of what they don’t know. People don’t really sit down and talk to gay people and consider them as individuals.” – Falcon Sison pg.48

“If we were more open to accepting peopleas who they are,this world would be a better place. We would all be respectful of each other. We would accept all the variations that we see.” -Allen Arnaboldi pg.24

My two outside sources are one from my brother and the other his boyfriend I got both of them through my brothers email. I picked them because they have to live through the life described in the book everyday. I feel bad at times because society is so blinded and its sad.

“Being gay to me is hard because so many people look at me like I’m a monster. Family members sometimes don’t want their sons around me because thay feel that I will influence them. I mean why would I do that, what I do is what I do. Everyone perfers what they perfer I just perfer another man. Yes in the future I would love to have a family. Question how will I be looked at then? I am human an society need to accept that.”  -Johnathan (brother boyfriend)

“I have a different relationship with my family. Everyone accepts me being gay I mean why not. I accept them being heterosexual. Life is too short for people to hate on weither I like a male or female as long as I’m happy is all that matters. I plan to to marry and have children like any other family. Shit it’s only right. We are human just like everyone else.” -Henry (my brother)

I think everyone should read this books it makes you think. It’s really interesting for those who despise gay couples. To me it fills in the gaps.

Changes in College Women’s Attitudes towards Sexual Intimacy: ByGirmatin, Shannon K… Journal of research on adolescences (Blackwell Publishing Limited) Sep. 2006, Vol 16

http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdf?vid=33&hid=115&sid=34dc76b2-9a4d-4b7c-a342-a4998a7a43de%40sessionmgr106 

This article talks about how 14 young women feel about sexual intimacy after their first year of college.  It then goes on to talk about how feelings change as time goes on. This journal talks things that happened in the bedroom, as well as things that happened during the time length. Some may have contracted a sexually transmitted disease, as well as their partner just being down right disrespectful with them feeling violated. A number of things happen in this article that basically makes them not want to have sex.