Yeah well as i was sitting here trying to figure this shit out it was a fucking bummer. I was pissed that I couldn’t find shit then to come into the class and Marlen find that shit I wanted to snap. i mean I never thought that doing research could be hard but this shit is toomfucking much. it seems like my toipc is a good topic but i don’t knoiw it gives me a headache. I am going to stick it out because it is some thing that I want to do. Ouestion when does it end will I get all that is needed for this project? Or will I just fail with it I don’t know. Shit shit shit shit shit…..Thats how I feel at this moment….to much fucking pressure at one fucking time. But I can do this i cando this thats what I say to myself

My major research topic and question is:

What actually goes through a killers mind when they are killing someone?

The reason that I am curious about this topic is because two weeks ago I lost my younger cousin to a fatal shooting where he was shot five times in the back and once in the head. For a while I poked at this decision for doing a research paper on this. It was one morning that I had a dream and figure that this would be a great topic for me to research. I mean after all you have to have some type of psychological disorder inorder to take another persons life away. If not what is the promblem?

1. I think the person does not have a conscience.

2. They were not bought up on morals.

3. They have a problem.

4. They just do not care.

5. They don’t think of what maybe instore for themselves.

The thing that I have already done is looked up my topic. Doing this has really gotten me no where but I believe that there is alot of information out there that will help me to have a great paper. The way that I think my research will be different is everything that I write will be in my own words. I will give broader and more general ideas. Instead of statistics.

With this reasearch paper I will probably use interviews that were put up on the internet. I will give lots of description telling about a criminals mind.

Shit criminals have issues. I mean killes to be persise they kill with a moral to what? What goes through their mind do they have psychological issues? or is there a reason to what they do? I don’t know the shit pisses me off. everytime i was home in Philly all i heard about was some one getting killed. Just a few weeks ago I lost a younger cousin to a violent killing where his attacker shot him 5 time in the back and 1 in the head. How could some one be so immorally insane. What was the killer thinking did he have nightmares. was he thinking about that being someones son, brother,uncle, grandson, or cousin. How could you take a life. I mena shit happens in the world so much you don’t know what the fuck to do but take a life is not one of them. What if his killer had the same shit happen to him his

1. Why do criminals commit crimes?

The thing that I want to know most about this topic is what are major criminals such as rapist and killers minds like while they are commiting the crime.

This topic is important to me because I just lost a younger cousin to a shooting and I want to know what was going through his killers mind.

I can bring something new to this research topic by really getting the information for this from a killers mouth.

2. Why do society degrade gay couples?

I want to know what is it that scares people so much about gay couples. 

It is important be cause I have gay family members and I want to know why.

I can bring something new by getting more infor than what I already know.

3. Fashion

I want to know where these new crazy trends come form.

Why do the youner population attract to them so easly

I can bringsomething new to this by fing out how long this has been happeneing

Criminals go through something in their mind that make them do bad things.

What goes through a criminal mind as they are commeting a crime.

Why is it that most criminals do a crime with out feeling any sense of remorse. Like a muderer they will kill a person go on the run and maybe kill again do they have a conscience? At what time does reality set in? How do they react? What goes on in their mind while they are commiting the crime?

This seems like a 8 to me because it’s something that I really want to know

Please be mindful that I don’t know how to word some of what I want my topics to be.

1. Clothing- in a sense of where the trends come from

2. Different Cultures

3. How does love make a family

4. Why prisoners commit crime

5. Children

6. Different Foods

7. Where did SIDS come from

8. Death

9. Why do society degrade gay couples

Research is gathering information about things that you want to know. It could be about anything and everything. Research can come from many sources from all over, not just a book or the Internet.

You can research through people that you know and even go places to conduct research. Everyone at some time has done or will do research whether they know it or not.  Research is formed through different sources.  Some sources may not seem to look like research but it is.  For instance Muslims don’t eat pork…. So they read the ingredients to certain food that they eat to see if it contains pork… It may not seem like research but it is. 

Hi my name is Nundi pronounced Nandi or something. I know that you are probably wondering what it means and where it comes from. My name is African and it comes from the movie Shaka Zulu which is based on a true story my name comes from his wife. With a name such as mine you would think that maybe that is how I was always treated. That by far is not the case. Yes I have gone through some hard ships, but it has made me the person that I am striving to become. My name plays a major role in the life that many talk about when we go back and reminisce about my past.

 Growing up in the inner city part of North Philadelphia who knows where life may lead you. Rather it be a successful lawyer or a school teacher or if worst comes to worst a drug dealer no one knows until destiny fulfills its self. See in the inner city part of North Philly life for me was not what we call easy it was more like a living hell. I grew up around violence, as well as teen pregnancy and drugs. Most times neighbors figured the worst of anyone coming out of the ghetto, you would probably end up like the crack fiends or just never amount to anything. Some how some way I had to make it out. Growing up I lived a life just as many North Philadelphia residents.  My mom and dad were both doing drugs not giving a damn if food was left on the table a high was more important.  So my grandma took the role of my mother. Not just for me but for my five other cousins as well. Good thing we all were not in one room that shit would have killed me. Instead girls had a room and boys had a room. As a child I knew that since I was my mother’s only child I would have things a little more better than the other five children. My grandma opted to take me in as long as my mother promised to give her money for my clothing food was never an issue. All of that came to an end once my grandma suddenly passed away. I was forced to move in to a house with my mother, aunt, and cousin.  Although my aunt would not dare to see me without I was missing something but no one could put their finger on it.  In my heart I was missing my grandma and my mother’s love. I wanted my mother to get over her addiction and fast.  I needed her to realize that it was me and her against the world, but drugs had her brain messed up. So after my grandma passed I went into a stage of being a quiet person.  I began to only speak when spoken to. Go to school and just do my work not caring if the world came crumbling down. I was a social outcast and was reminded of it everyday. I just wanted things to go my way and if no one understood some way some how I was going to make them. I knew I had to make good grades if I wanted to get out of the ghetto and become someone. Who ever knew it would be so hard? I called some close family and friends up today and asked them about myself. I knew that when I was younger I was a quiet and shy person but I wanted to really know about me, things that I did that I do not remember. So here is my research.

Mom- When I first got pregnant with you I called you my miracle child, beings that before you I had two miscarriages, as well as my tubes tied. Doctors told me that I would never be able to have children. My body was unable to reproduce. As a child I had you spoiled rotten. Then came my addiction. I knew that my mother was sick so I got high to fight off what I was feeling. Not knowing the heavy burden that I was placing on her. I stopped caring allowing her to take you in while I just got high. I promised her that I would make sure you had clothes and that is what I did. As you were growing up you were a angel. I tried to buy you everything that you wanted but found it hard. After my mom died I knew that you were going through it because I was doing things that no mother should have done. Through tears she began to apologize. I wanted so bad to take you into my arms and make you feel like I loved you but it was too late. You began acting like a little bitch. I began to allow you to stay where you wanted then you just drifted into any home you felt comfortable. It was too late I had lost you.

Dad-I think you were always the same coming up. Your mom had you spoiled I could not do anything but love you and give you everything that you wanted. Although thorough my addiction I seemed as if I did not care I knew you were my special one. I did not have the chance to be in your sister and brother life but I wanted to be in yours. I had to get rid of the addiction that I had held onto for so long. Because I knew that you were growing older and you would soon resent me like your sibilings had alreay done I fought to get better. I admit you were a little rebellious but you never direspected me to the point that I could not stand you. I never told you this but I knew you would succeed because out of all the children you were strong. You never let me and your mom get to you. I know that you prayed for me on bending knees because I saw you one day. You did not have to tell me that you were displeased with the lifestyle that we opted to put you in you just went with the flow making it through each day. I look at you and see potential. Potential to be a great mother and wife some day. Never allowing your children go through what your mom and I had put you through.

Mrs. Candy (family friend)-When you were younger I found you to be a very bright young lady. When all of the children were running around you always sat on your grand mother’s steps with your doll. One of my most memorable moments is when I used to walk down the street and asked you where your mother was, you looked at me with no front teeth and said her in Con-ne-icut. I found that so cute. You were always a bright light that shinned above the other children. Now that your older I see the beautiful women that you have become.

Jas (friend)-Coming up with you ya ass was ignorant. You never cared what the hell came out your mouth to anyone and still don’t. I remember the day your ass was cursing all on the sub and some old lady said something smart and you snapped on her ass, bitch you had problems. But I knew that was you. Living from house to house coming up you had no rules. You just did what you knew and that was fight pain with evilness. I knew what you were going through so I never said anything I just let you act out. I don’t think you are a bad person because through your meaness you always seemed to think about the well being of others before your own.

Mrs. Pauline (family friend)- coming up you were a great child and now you are the same way. I look at you as a role model for younger children in the neighborhood due to the fact that no one else has accomplished half of the things as you and you’re still young and moving forward. I remember as a teen you wanting to be in many school programs but your dad always had a issues with it. If there was something to do with money he always said “you always want to do something” and that made you mad. Not wanting to stay in the neighbor hood you raised your money. For instance one year I think you were like 15 or 16 you wanted to go to this law forum in Washington DC and it cost a lot of money. You went out and found your own donors with the help of others and made it so you could. From that day on I knew that you would never let anything stand in your way.

The style that I have written my essay is narrative. It basically tells the story of my life in a small piece. I used people that  knows me to give a high light of what they thought about me . The audience that I choose for this piece are a younger crowd as well as my teacher. This piece has a little bit cursing and it is very informal to allow conservative people to read. If I were asked to revise my paper I would go more in-depth of what was said to me by my family and friends, as well as do a little more talking form my end. The reason for this is because some of the things said were more of a reality check for me and my life has so much more to offer. I choose to give the words that would give you a little information about me. Two specific aspects of my writing are the transition from mother to grandma and from the younger me to the older.

Resources Used-

Phone Conversations with

Marilyn Benson (mom)215-329-4058

Henry Ellis (dad)267-243-7419

Mrs. Candy(family friend) caught her at my moms house no number for her

Jasmine Blunt (friend)215-410-0207

Pauline Brown (family friend)215-232-9029

As for my name it comes from the movie Shaka Zulu. It’s based on a true story of the African tribe.