Archive for February 2008
Sex Positions 6 1/2
Living in the world as a college based students so many things seem to come your way. Whether it is hooking up in a new relationship, being friends, or just plain old friends with benefits. In this paper you will be able to recognize certain intimacy levels that the college students between the ages of 18-25 at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) are willing to take on in the bed room. The question that is being asked is how far is too far? Are these college students willing to fulfill any sexual need or just some? Do some of these sexual positions seem more down grading than others? I came to feel that I wanted to know these questions because I love to have sex. I was once asked if I had twenty-four hours to live what would I spend my time doing. I responded having sex. Eyebrows were raised but that was my honest to god answer. Yes, it sounds kind of crazy but through it all I play it safe. I am afraid of STD’s so I find myself to be as careful as can be when engaging in sex. Sex is a privilege when it comes to me so some things are not going to take place when it comes to happening with me. I do not believe in anal sex at all, and when it comes to sex with guys sometimes when you get too freaky you are labeled as a slut or hoe. So I put my men to a test three months before intercourse, and then they get the basics and if we are together long enough they can get a little more of my freaky side. (LOL) But that has to wait until I can tell that they are not one of them fake dudes. I know for sure that if girls knew that there name was going to be put out as a slut or hoe some of the things they do in the bedroom would come to an end. Being a college woman things that happen on this college campus sex wise are so predictable when it comes to having a friend with benefits. Some of the guys will never take you serious if your just say that is your intention. You are automatically a hoe. Yeah it is crazy but it is so true. We as women are not allowed to just be us in the bedroom with out worrying about our reputation later. I have seen this happen to many of the girls who began this college experience with me and they have been dogged so badly by these guys on this college campus just because of the positions they are willing to fulfill.
The way these results were established is through an online survey completed by college students who were willing to complete it. All answers were confidential so that no one had to worry about their identity being revealed. Students were asked three multiple choice questions and two open ended questions. The questions asked were: What is your gender (male, female, transgender)? What is your sexual preference (male, female, both)? How are you willing to have sex (man on top, woman on top, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, standing positions, sitting positions, oral sex, anal sex, with more than one person at the same time, or with the same sex)? Why do you not engage in certain sex positions? How far is too far? Are you willing to try every sex position out there or just keeping at it basics? Through this paper you will see how some intimacy levels play a certain role in some college students lives. This paper will also have information based on real life situations and conversations done between my friends and me. In my opinion I think that most college students will be willing to do almost anything. Males who are not gay they will not be willing to have sex with the same sex or engage in anal sex. Women who have a bad thought of anal sex will probably never be willing to engage in anal sex. I guess we will have to keep reading to find out how college students think.
Research has shown that when dealing with a relationship that is just based on sex women seem to get more emotionally involved. (Adowitz & Knox, 2003) I find this to be important for my paper because later on in my paper it will show how much of an important role it plays when women choose not to engage in certain sex pleasantries with their friends with benefits or their companion. In a past situation when dealing with a man I went into the environment with the mind frame that I just wanted to have sex with the person just to see how good his sex was, then ended up coming out with crazy feelings because his sex game was just that good of course he wanted to try the anal thing, to me that was an unethical act, so I politely said no. Being the women that I am I moved on from the situation because I knew that a relationship would never work. Especially since I was unwilling to engage in some of things that he wanted. I just do not see the point in sticking something in something that shit comes out of. When it comes to men they are more sexually focused. (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001) This in cases is a true statement coming from the background of an inner city life I see many men have sex with women and will think nothing of it after they are done. If a women is willing to go that extra mile the men usually fucks than flee the girls. at time they can also go vice versa. The way that the woman may feel after sex can be the same way that the man can feel and vice versa.
Biosocial theory emphasizes the interaction of one’s biological/ genetic inheritance with one’s social environment to explain and predict human behavior. Borrowing from evolutionary psychology, sociobiology, and psychobiology; biosocial theory uses the concepts of adaptation, fitness, natural selection and may help to explain different gender views of relationship pairings (Ingoldsby, Smith, and Miller). Most research on sex differences in sexual behavior find that women when compared to men, have traditionally reported significantly lower rates of masturbatory, premarital, and extramarital sexual behavior (all lower rates) (Michael et al. 1994). Traditionally, rural and religious backgrounds have been associated with conservative sexual values (Michael, Gagnon, Laumann & Kolata, 1994; Udry, Kovenock, and Morris and Van den Burg, 1955). Social learning theory also points to the nurturing of women for emotional relationships and the fear instilled in them to avoid negative labels from society for their sexuality. The women in love in a friends with benefits relationship are understood and respected. The sexually hedonistic women (in contrast to the sexually hedonistic man) in a friends with benefits relationship is victim of the sexual double standard- she is a “slut” but he is a “stud.” In an effort to avoid such labeling, the women defines the context as emotional and emphasizes this aspect of the relationship when discussing it with her friends. (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001).
Thus, I am a college student on the IUP campus and I had to deal with myself on this topic. I had to question myself about what would I do. Am I willing to engage in any type of sex play with my companion? My answer is no. There are some things that I can honestly say that I will not do. It is not that I am not willing to try new things, but some things just seem so uncouth. I mean what if this is a friend with benefits situation how will he look at me at the end of the night if I agree to half of the stuff that he wants to do. I am not a person that does well with name labels so I know that I will go crazy. Now do not get me wrong some things can be done to make the time more fulfilling to the both of us but then again what is it? These are questions that I constantly ask myself.
There have been several occasions where my heterosexual female friends and I have come together and have talked sex on a personal level of what they will or will not do on a personal level in the bed room. One question was on anal sex… Are you willing? The answer is always no. I mean we do not put people down that do it but we figure that it is something that others are comfortable doing but not them. They always say “I sit down on the toilet and it hurts so how would that shit feel.” Someone even came to say “dang my man has a big penis and it sometimes hurts when he sticks it in my vagina so if he sticks it in my ass it will bust me wide open.” Personally, I think that every woman who has not tried this sex position feels this way as well. I have male and female friends who have tried anal sex so I asked them “how does anal sex feel” for my wanting to know and they always respond with the same answers “the first time it hurts because you are tense and you squeeze your ass muscles, but once it is in there and he goes slow then works it in right it feels good.” “It makes the female cum faster and more.”
During the process of socialization, men and women are assumed to learn what is appropriate as they learn the culturally-condoned roles related to sexual behavior. These roles vary according to sex and are assumed to be culturally bound to conceptions of masculinity and femininity (Gagnon, 1990; Jackson, 1978). Most people do not understand what appropriate is, they just have meaningless sex. So what do they get out of it? Emotions? They are expected to engage in sex only within committed relationships and for intimacy rather than physical reasons (Muehlenhard, 1988; Tetreault & Barnett, 1987).
As you can see the same concerns that I have about sex have come up over 20 years ago. There is a reason for this. So many people think that there are many appropriateness towards sex. For example, men generally report having had more past sexual partners compared to women, are more likely to report initiating sexual activity within intimate relationships (Byers & Heinlein, 1989; O’SulIivan & Byers, 1992), and to rate sexual intercourse as the most important aspect of sexual interactions (compared to “foreplay” and “afterplay”) (Denney, Field, & Ouadagno, 1984).Women, compared to men, are more likely to refuse sexual invitations, at least from strangers (Clark & Hatfield, 1989), and are more likely to report desiring sex within committed rather than casual relationships (Ehrlichman & Eichenstein, 1992). I asked my self what is foreplay and after play the definitions that I found says: Sexual stimulation preceding or after intercourse. (Dictionary of English Language)
The way that people view what is deemed right or wrong in the bedroom stems from what their parents, and community tells them. Certain things in certain communities and religions are looked down upon. Children learn this at a young age and it is dilled into them as they get older. When they do engage in sexual activity they tend to follow what they are taught and refuse to engage in these sexual acts. Society plays a huge part in everything people do. We have become a more sexual society over the years, but older generations have looked at sex as something that needed not to be discussed and they taught their children this. This legacy was passed to the younger generations (current college age students).
To find out what is too far and how far you are willing to go. We have to look at the background of the person answering as well as the answer itself. Some people even when they are taught one thing, they go and do something else. Why is this? Because they feel that they have to try something in order to actually put it down. So these college students at least try it once and after that if they like it they continue on with it and if they do not like it they leave it alone.
Some sex positions are somewhat crazy but they are what makes having sex fun. There are so many positions out there that people try it’s funny. But when it gets to college student most try the obvious what they are used to with friends with benefits and sometimes the unexpected with companions. In my opinion we should be open for anything when it comes to pleasing the other half but question is will the other half be down for pleasing us. (I think not) From a woman’s point of view if college males were willing to engage in anything that the women wanted to do (i.e. stick her finger in his anal, have a threesome with another man involved) how would they be looked at? I mean you have to look at trying certain things in a different prospective when it comes to you having a reputation when you finish. Sex positions come with limits when it comes to both male and female.
In this section my results will be as fallowed: I will restate the questions that I have asked and go through one by on what each male and female says about my questions so this is where my paper stops for now.
Add a comment February 25, 2008
My first 3 pages
Living in the world as a college based students so many things seem to come your way. Whether it is hooking up in a new relationship, being friends, or just plain old friends with benefits. In this paper you will be able to recognize certain intimacy levels that the college students of Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) are will to take on in the bed room. The question that is being asked is how far is too far? Are these college students willing to fulfill any sexual need or just some? Do some of these sexual positions seem more down grading than others? So sit back relax and read on.
Research has shown that when dealing with a relationship that is just based on sex women seem to get more emotionally involved. (Adowitz & Knox, 2003) I find this to be important for my paper because later on in my paper it will show how much of an important role it plays when women choose not to engage in certain sex pleasantries with their friends with benefits or their companion. I find this to be a true statement when thinking about past relationships. Where I may have just went in thinking that it would be just sex, came out with harder feelings for the person than I had be for starting. When it comes to men they are more sexually focused. (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001) This in cases this is a true statement coming from the background of an inner city life I see many men have sex with women and will think nothing of it after they are done. So as you can see these statements can be true at time they can also go vice versa. The way that the woman may feel after sex can be the same way that the man can feel and vice versa.
As of now I am a college student on the IUP campus and I had to deal with myself on this topic. I had to question myself about what would I do. Am I willing to engage in any type of sex play with my companion? My answer is no. There are some things that I can honestly say that I will not do. It is not that I am not willing to try new things, but some things just seem so uncouth. I mean what if this is a friend with benefits situation how will he look at me at the end of the night if I agree to half of the stuff that he wants to do. I am not a person that does well with name labels so I know that I will flip the hatchet. Now do not get me wrong some things can be done to make the time more fulfilling to the both of us but then again what is it? These are questions that I constantly ask myself.
There have been several occasions where my friends and I have come together and have talked sex on a personal level of what would or wouldn’t they do on a personal level in the bed room. One question was on anal sex… Are you willing? The answer is always no. I mean we do not put people down that do it but we figure that it is some thing that others are comfortable doing but not them. There were times when a companion has asked me if I was willing to engage in anal sex and my answer was no. So I start to think if he is willing to put it in my butt is he also willing to have a same sex relationship.
During the process of socialization, men and women are assumed to learn what is appropriate as they learn the culturally-condoned roles related to sexual behavior. These roles vary according to sex and are assumed to be culturally bound to conceptions of masculinity and femininity (Gagnon, 1990; Jackson, 1978). Most people do not understand what appropriate is, they just have meaningless sex. So what do they get out of it? Emotions? They are expected to engage in sex only within committed relationships and for intimacy rather than physical reasons (Muehlenhard, 1988; Tetreault & Barnett, 1987).
As you can see the same concerns that I have about sex have come up over 20 years ago. There is a reason for this. So many people think that there are many appropriateness towards sex. For example, men generally report having had more past sexual partners compared to women, are more likely to report initiating sexual activity within intimate relationships (Byers & Heinlein, 1989; O’SulIivan & Byers, 1992), and to rate sexual intercourse as the most important aspect of sexual interactions (compared to “foreplay” and “afterplay”) (Denney, Field, & Ouadagno, 1984).Women, compared to men, are more likely to refuse sexual invitations, at least from strangers (Clark & Hatfield, 1989), and are more likely to report desiring sex within committed rather than casual relationships (Ehrlichman & Eichenstein, 1992). I asked my self what is foreplay the definition that I found says: Sexual stimulation preceding intercourse. (Dictionary of English Language)
The way that people view what is deemed right or wrong in the bedroom stems from what their parents, and community tells them. Certain things in certain communities and religions are looked down upon. Children learn this at a young age and it is dilled into them as they get older. When they do engage in sexual activity they tend to follow what they are taught and refuse to engage in these sexual acts. Society plays a huge part in everything people do. We have become a more sexual society over the years, but older generations have looked at sex as something that needed not to be discussed and they taught their children this. This legacy was passed to the younger generation (current college age students).
To find out what is too far and how far you are willing to go. We have to look at the background of the person answering as well as the answer itself. Some people even when they are taught one thing, they go and do something else. Why is this?
5 comments February 18, 2008
Outline
How far is to far? What sex positions are college students unwilling and willing to do in the bedroom?
I. Introduction
a. define sex positions
b. give examples of different sex positions
c. thesis- Some people are willing to do any type of sex position in the bedroom to please their companion, where as some feel that certain things are down right nasty, so how far is to far, are they willing to do everything or just some things.
d. mythes on college students sex life
e. why you chose this topic
II. More Detailed Explanation of problem or question
a. my friend and I always talk about sex almost on a daily basis… we always come to the conclusion that we there are certain things that we will and will not do so I figured if we feel this way how does other college students feel… are there somethings thats down grading
b. beliefs about different postions form college student both male and female
c. what age group are you writing this to
d. what does this age group feel about this
III. Review of the Literature/current research/trends
a. Changes in College Women’s Attitudes towards Sexual Intimacy
IV. What you’re going to do, step by step, to address this issue- In Detail!!!! This is also called Methods or Methodology
a. survey college students of IUP male and female ranging from ages 17-25
b. gather as much info on my topic that I can find
c. write about my personal feelings about my topic
d. figure out my solution to this situation
V. Results
VI. Discussion- in detaild what did you find? How did your results meet/not meet your expection?
a.What would the next step be?
VII. Conclusion
VIII. References/Work Cited
2 comments February 13, 2008
Reading Response
The book that I read was “Love Makes A Family.” I can honestly say that this a dynamic book. I mean it’s not your ordinary book where you have one two or three authors writing it there are many. Families from all over decide to tell their stories of being a family that is either a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. To some this book may not be very interesting but to me I found it to be a reality check. These families go through so much that us heterosexual families never have to go through. Why because society places them a predictiment where they try to pic their lives for them.Did you know that some homosexual families are not allowed to share insurance, health benifits, and many other things. I mean why can’t they be equal just as any other family? They are human. Society doesn’t think so. Younger children in this book who doesn’t know what the word gay means but still decides to tease another child that they are gay. When confronted and asked the meaning they have none. How fucked up is that? How about parents learn to educate their children that being homosexual is just like being heterosexul everyone just perfers what they perfer.
I know your probably wondering why I am so into this book. No, I’m not a lesbian but I do have a gay brother. I want my brother to have all of the rights that I have. I mean it’s only fair. I don’t see anything different he eats sleeps and shits just like everyone else.
The way the people that put this book together used research is by finding people of different genders, races, ethnicities, and religions to tell their stories without being prejudice or ignorant of anyones lifestyle.
This book has many quotes that I really like here are a few:
“Prejudice exists because people are scared of what they don’t know. People don’t really sit down and talk to gay people and consider them as individuals.” – Falcon Sison pg.48
“If we were more open to accepting peopleas who they are,this world would be a better place. We would all be respectful of each other. We would accept all the variations that we see.” -Allen Arnaboldi pg.24
My two outside sources are one from my brother and the other his boyfriend I got both of them through my brothers email. I picked them because they have to live through the life described in the book everyday. I feel bad at times because society is so blinded and its sad.
“Being gay to me is hard because so many people look at me like I’m a monster. Family members sometimes don’t want their sons around me because thay feel that I will influence them. I mean why would I do that, what I do is what I do. Everyone perfers what they perfer I just perfer another man. Yes in the future I would love to have a family. Question how will I be looked at then? I am human an society need to accept that.” -Johnathan (brother boyfriend)
“I have a different relationship with my family. Everyone accepts me being gay I mean why not. I accept them being heterosexual. Life is too short for people to hate on weither I like a male or female as long as I’m happy is all that matters. I plan to to marry and have children like any other family. Shit it’s only right. We are human just like everyone else.” -Henry (my brother)
I think everyone should read this books it makes you think. It’s really interesting for those who despise gay couples. To me it fills in the gaps.
Add a comment February 11, 2008
Annotated Bibliography
Changes in College Women’s Attitudes towards Sexual Intimacy: ByGirmatin, Shannon K… Journal of research on adolescences (Blackwell Publishing Limited) Sep. 2006, Vol 16
This article talks about how 14 young women feel about sexual intimacy after their first year of college. It then goes on to talk about how feelings change as time goes on. This journal talks things that happened in the bedroom, as well as things that happened during the time length. Some may have contracted a sexually transmitted disease, as well as their partner just being down right disrespectful with them feeling violated. A number of things happen in this article that basically makes them not want to have sex.
Add a comment February 11, 2008
Research Proposal # 2
Ok so as you can see I choose to change my topic. Not because I did not think that my first one was not interesting but as Marlen said I did not want a book report. I wanted something that was both fun and interesting to me. My topic is something that I think most people in the younger community think about almost on a daily bases. That’s sex! So my question is “How far is too far in the bedroom? Ladies are you willing to do any position in the bedroom with your companion or is something too down grading? Men are you willing to do any position in the bedroom with your companion or is something to down grading?”
For my research paper I want to talk about sex positions and how my peers may find certain things down grading when in the bedroom. In this paper I will include a survey that will be completed by both male and female students around Indiana University of Pennsylvania’s campus. I am curious about this topic because from my own experience there are a few things that I know that I would not do with my partner because it is down right unethical. The same thing applies to some of my friends that I hang with on a daily basis. I figured if my friends and I felt this way about certain sex positions others would feel the same way.
Some sex positions to some people may be downgrading to some where as to others it may be normal. My main focus is to see which ones carry the most attention. For instance, is a woman a whore if she engages in oral or anal sex? For the male are they just down right nasty for wanting their partners to engage in multiple positions? How far is too far? Are you willing to do anything to keep the flames going in the room? Are you and your partner willing to engage in a threesome both with the opposite sex? Are we using protection at all times, saving ourselves from these unknown and known diease of the world? Is this too much I mean this is something that I would like to know. So how do I figure this all out? I do my research. I will spend my days looking up different journals on things like intimacy in the bedroom. Downgrading intimacy between the male and the female. Sexual prejudice in the bedroom. Why are some of us unwilling to engage in same sex relationships in the bedroom?Have we tried this before, maybe it will be something that we like?
I want to know this because sometimes we as people are so ignorant. We do not know too much about these topics. I mean I wanted to know maybe someone else did as well. Life is short so why not please your partner? Why not try something new? How can we know that it’s downgrading if we never tried it? Sex is sex if we are going to do it why not go all the way?
I don’t really have five places that I want to publish my artical but I was thinking places like
Essense Magazine
2 comments February 11, 2008
New Topic: Sex from a girls sense how far is to far!!!
Ok I know your probably thinking why the hell did I change my topic. Well there were a number of things but my main reason is because I wanted something that was a little more interesting. The Mind of a murderer was ok but I wanted something more. I mean I’m young so learning about a murderers mind is something that I can find out in the future.
I wanted to know where did sex positions come from but that was to big of a topic. So I then took it to the level of what sex positions do most girls feel are the least or most disrespectful. Are you willing to go the whole nine yards in the bed room meaning any position including anal sex, oral sex or a threesome? Or is this just too much, would you rather stick to basics of the missionary position.
With this topic I will first gather information on different sex positions. Secondly make a survey that asks certain questions. Each survey will be confidential so that no one feels that their business is being put out.
1 comment February 6, 2008
Reseach Proposal
There comes a time in life when people began to question the things that happen in the world. Well I know that you are probably wondering what is it that I am talking about. I am talking about crime. Honestly, I never really cared about crime because it was apart of life. I grew up in the hard streets of North Philly where I was surrounded by crime at the most extent. You could walk out of your front door and your life could be ended in that split second. Going in and out of funerals seeing the peers of my graduating high school class lying dead it never dawned on me it could be someone even closer to me.
Writing this paper gave me a chace to express the cruelities of the world. I picked a topic that was close to my heart. Recently I lost my younger cousin to a fatal shooting, and in my mind I neve wanted to accept the fact that he was gone. That’s when I decided on the topic of my choice. I wanted to know what goes through the mind of a murderer as they are killing. In my heart I cannot see a person not having a conscience. I mean how can you just take another man or woman’s life and act as if nothing never happened? Do you have any morals in life? I know many are you want to know the same thing. I am pretty sure that you want to know.
Many things go through my mind as I sit and write this proposal. So when I began to research the topic I want to look into the psychological mind of the murderer. By the end of my conclusion I will be able to tell you what part of the brain allows you to do such acts of cruelity. You will know the mind frame after and before the murderer begans to kill it’s victims. Somewhat I feel that this will be a challenge for me but I think if I really put my mind to it I will have a great paper.
What I ask you as a classmate is if you see something in anything that I write that you don’t like please tell me. I will try my hardest to make it better thanks.
3 comments February 1, 2008
