My first 3 pages

            Living in the world as a college based students so many things seem to come your way.  Whether it is hooking up in a new relationship, being friends, or just plain old friends with benefits.  In this paper you will be able to recognize certain intimacy levels that the college students of Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) are will to take on in the bed room.  The question that is being asked is how far is too far?  Are these college students willing to fulfill any sexual need or just some?  Do some of these sexual positions seem more down grading than others?  So sit back relax and read on.

            Research has shown that when dealing with a relationship that is just based on sex women seem to get more emotionally involved.  (Adowitz & Knox, 2003)  I find this to be important for my paper because later on in my paper it will show how much of an important role it plays when women choose not to engage in certain sex pleasantries with their friends with benefits or their companion.  I find this to be a true statement when thinking about past relationships.  Where I may have just went in thinking that it would be just sex, came out with harder feelings for the person than I had be for starting.  When it comes to men they are more sexually focused. (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001)  This in cases this is a true statement coming from the background of an inner city life I see many men have sex with women and will think nothing of it after they are done.  So as you can see these statements can be true at time they can also go vice versa.  The way that the woman may feel after sex can be the same way that the man can feel and vice versa.

            As of now I am a college student on the IUP campus and I had to deal with myself on this topic.  I had to question myself about what would I do.  Am I willing to engage in any type of sex play with my companion?  My answer is no.  There are some things that I can honestly say that I will not do.  It is not that I am not willing to try new things, but some things just seem so uncouth.  I mean what if this is a friend with benefits situation how will he look at me at the end of the night if I agree to half of the stuff that he wants to do.  I am not a person that does well with name labels so I know that I will flip the hatchet.  Now do not get me wrong some things can be done to make the time more fulfilling to the both of us but then again what is it?  These are questions that I constantly ask myself.

            There have been several occasions where my friends and I have come together and have talked sex on a personal level of what would or wouldn’t they do on a personal level in the bed room.  One question was on anal sex… Are you willing?  The answer is always no.  I mean we do not put people down that do it but we figure that it is some thing that others are comfortable doing but not them.  There were times when a companion has asked me if I was willing to engage in anal sex and my answer was no.  So I start to think if he is willing to put it in my butt is he also willing to have a same sex relationship. 

            During the process of socialization, men and women are assumed to learn what is appropriate as they learn the culturally-condoned roles related to sexual behavior. These roles vary according to sex and are assumed to be culturally bound to conceptions of masculinity and femininity (Gagnon, 1990; Jackson, 1978).  Most people do not understand what appropriate is, they just have meaningless sex.  So what do they get out of it?  Emotions?  They are expected to engage in sex only within committed relationships and for intimacy rather than physical reasons (Muehlenhard, 1988; Tetreault & Barnett, 1987). 

            As you can see the same concerns that I have about sex have come up over 20 years ago.  There is a reason for this.  So many people think that there are many appropriateness towards sex.  For example, men generally report having had more past sexual partners compared to women, are more likely to report initiating sexual activity within intimate relationships (Byers & Heinlein, 1989; O’SulIivan & Byers, 1992), and to rate sexual intercourse as the most important aspect of sexual interactions (compared to “foreplay” and “afterplay”) (Denney, Field, & Ouadagno, 1984).Women, compared to men, are more likely to refuse sexual invitations, at least from strangers (Clark & Hatfield, 1989), and are more likely to report desiring sex within committed rather than casual relationships (Ehrlichman & Eichenstein, 1992).  I asked my self what is foreplay   the definition that I found says: Sexual stimulation preceding intercourse. (Dictionary of English Language)

            The way that people view what is deemed right or wrong in the bedroom stems from what their parents, and community tells them. Certain things in certain communities and religions are looked down upon. Children learn this at a young age and it is dilled into them as they get older. When they do engage in sexual activity they tend to follow what they are taught and refuse to engage in these sexual acts.  Society plays a huge part in everything people do. We have become a more sexual society over the years, but older generations have looked at sex as something that needed not to be discussed and they taught their children this. This legacy was passed to the younger generation (current college age students).

            To find out what is too far and how far you are willing to go. We have to look at the background of the person answering as well as the answer itself. Some people even when they are taught one thing, they go and do something else. Why is this?

5 comments February 18, 2008