Living in the world as a college based students so many things seem to come your way.  Whether it is hooking up in a new relationship, being friends, or just plain old friends with benefits.  In this paper you will be able to recognize certain intimacy levels that the college students between the ages of 18-25 at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) are willing to take on in the bed room.  The question that is being asked is how far is too far?  Are these college students willing to fulfill any sexual need or just some?  Do some of these sexual positions seem more down grading than others?  I came to feel that I wanted to know these questions because I love to have sex.  I was once asked if I had twenty-four hours to live what would I spend my time doing.  I responded having sex.  Eyebrows were raised but that was my honest to god answer.  Yes, it sounds kind of crazy but through it all I play it safe.  I am afraid of STD’s so I find myself to be as careful as can be when engaging in sex.  Sex is a privilege when it comes to me so some things are not going to take place when it comes to happening with me.  I do not believe in anal sex at all, and when it comes to sex with guys sometimes when you get too freaky you are labeled as a slut or hoe.  So I put my men to a test three months before intercourse, and then they get the basics and if we are together long enough they can get a little more of my freaky side. (LOL) But that has to wait until I can tell that they are not one of them fake dudes.  I know for sure that if girls knew that there name was going to be put out as a slut or hoe some of the things they do in the bedroom would come to an end.  Being a college woman things that happen on this college campus sex wise are so predictable when it comes to having a friend with benefits.  Some of the guys will never take you serious if your just say that is your intention.  You are automatically a hoe.  Yeah it is crazy but it is so true.  We as women are not allowed to just be us in the bedroom with out worrying about our reputation later.  I have seen this happen to many of the girls who began this college experience with me and they have been dogged so badly by these guys on this college campus just because of the positions they are willing to fulfill.     

            The way these results were established is through an online survey completed by college students who were willing to complete it.  All answers were confidential so that no one had to worry about their identity being revealed. Students were asked three multiple choice questions and two open ended questions.  The questions asked were: What is your gender (male, female, transgender)?   What is your sexual preference (male, female, both)?  How are you willing to have sex (man on top, woman on top, rear entry man on top, rear entry woman on top, standing positions, sitting positions, oral sex, anal sex, with more than one person at the same time, or with the same sex)?  Why do you not engage in certain sex positions?  How far is too far?  Are you willing to try every sex position out there or just keeping at it basics?   Through this paper you will see how some intimacy levels play a certain role in some college students lives.  This paper will also have information based on real life situations and conversations done between my friends and me.  In my opinion I think that most college students will be willing to do almost anything.  Males who are not gay they will not be willing to have sex with the same sex or engage in anal sex.  Women who have a bad thought of anal sex will probably never be willing to engage in anal sex.  I guess we will have to keep reading to find out how college students think.    

            Research has shown that when dealing with a relationship that is just based on sex women seem to get more emotionally involved.  (Adowitz & Knox, 2003)  I find this to be important for my paper because later on in my paper it will show how much of an important role it plays when women choose not to engage in certain sex pleasantries with their friends with benefits or their companion. In a past situation when dealing with a man I went into the environment with the mind frame that I just wanted to have sex with the person just to see how good his sex was, then ended up coming out with crazy feelings because his sex game was just that good of course he wanted to try the anal thing, to me that was an unethical act, so I politely said no.   Being the women that I am I moved on from the situation because I knew that a relationship would never work.  Especially since I was unwilling to engage in some of things that he wanted.  I just do not see the point in sticking something in something that shit comes out of.  When it comes to men they are more sexually focused. (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001)  This in cases is a true statement coming from the background of an inner city life I see many men have sex with women and will think nothing of it after they are done.  If a women is willing to go that extra mile the men usually fucks than flee the girls.   at time they can also go vice versa.  The way that the woman may feel after sex can be the same way that the man can feel and vice versa.

    Biosocial theory emphasizes the interaction of one’s biological/ genetic inheritance with one’s social environment to explain and predict human behavior.  Borrowing from evolutionary psychology, sociobiology, and psychobiology; biosocial theory uses the concepts of adaptation, fitness, natural selection and may help to explain different gender views of relationship pairings (Ingoldsby, Smith, and Miller).  Most research on sex differences in sexual behavior find that women when compared to men, have traditionally reported significantly lower rates of masturbatory, premarital, and extramarital sexual behavior (all lower rates) (Michael et al. 1994).  Traditionally, rural and religious backgrounds have been associated with conservative sexual values (Michael, Gagnon, Laumann & Kolata, 1994; Udry, Kovenock, and Morris and Van den Burg, 1955).  Social learning theory also points to the nurturing of women for emotional relationships and the fear instilled in them to avoid negative labels from society for their sexuality.  The women in love in a friends with benefits relationship are understood and respected.  The sexually hedonistic women (in contrast to the sexually hedonistic man) in a friends with benefits relationship is victim of the sexual double standard- she is a “slut” but he is a “stud.”  In an effort to avoid such labeling, the women defines the context as emotional and emphasizes this aspect of the relationship when discussing it with her friends.  (Michael et al., 1994; Author et al., 2001). 

            Thus,  I am a college student on the IUP campus and I had to deal with myself on this topic.  I had to question myself about what would I do.  Am I willing to engage in any type of sex play with my companion?  My answer is no.  There are some things that I can honestly say that I will not do.  It is not that I am not willing to try new things, but some things just seem so uncouth.  I mean what if this is a friend with benefits situation how will he look at me at the end of the night if I agree to half of the stuff that he wants to do.  I am not a person that does well with name labels so I know that I will go crazy.  Now do not get me wrong some things can be done to make the time more fulfilling to the both of us but then again what is it?  These are questions that I constantly ask myself.

            There have been several occasions where my heterosexual female friends and I have come together and have talked sex on a personal level of what they will or will not do on a personal level in the bed room.  One question was on anal sex… Are you willing?  The answer is always no.  I mean we do not put people down that do it but we figure that it is something that others are comfortable doing but not them.  They always say “I sit down on the toilet and it hurts so how would that shit feel.”  Someone even came to say “dang my man has a big penis and it sometimes hurts when he sticks it in my vagina so if he sticks it in my ass it will bust me wide open.”  Personally, I think that every woman who has not tried this sex position feels this way as well.  I have male and female friends who have tried anal sex so I asked them “how does anal sex feel” for my wanting to know and they always respond with the same answers “the first time it hurts because you are tense and you squeeze your ass muscles, but once it is in there and he goes slow then works it in right it feels good.” “It makes the female cum faster and more.”   

            During the process of socialization, men and women are assumed to learn what is appropriate as they learn the culturally-condoned roles related to sexual behavior. These roles vary according to sex and are assumed to be culturally bound to conceptions of masculinity and femininity (Gagnon, 1990; Jackson, 1978).  Most people do not understand what appropriate is, they just have meaningless sex.  So what do they get out of it?  Emotions?  They are expected to engage in sex only within committed relationships and for intimacy rather than physical reasons (Muehlenhard, 1988; Tetreault & Barnett, 1987). 

            As you can see the same concerns that I have about sex have come up over 20 years ago.  There is a reason for this.  So many people think that there are many appropriateness towards sex.  For example, men generally report having had more past sexual partners compared to women, are more likely to report initiating sexual activity within intimate relationships (Byers & Heinlein, 1989; O’SulIivan & Byers, 1992), and to rate sexual intercourse as the most important aspect of sexual interactions (compared to “foreplay” and “afterplay”) (Denney, Field, & Ouadagno, 1984).Women, compared to men, are more likely to refuse sexual invitations, at least from strangers (Clark & Hatfield, 1989), and are more likely to report desiring sex within committed rather than casual relationships (Ehrlichman & Eichenstein, 1992).  I asked my self what is foreplay and after play the definitions that I found says: Sexual stimulation preceding or after intercourse. (Dictionary of English Language)

            The way that people view what is deemed right or wrong in the bedroom stems from what their parents, and community tells them. Certain things in certain communities and religions are looked down upon. Children learn this at a young age and it is dilled into them as they get older. When they do engage in sexual activity they tend to follow what they are taught and refuse to engage in these sexual acts.  Society plays a huge part in everything people do. We have become a more sexual society over the years, but older generations have looked at sex as something that needed not to be discussed and they taught their children this. This legacy was passed to the younger generations (current college age students).

            To find out what is too far and how far you are willing to go. We have to look at the background of the person answering as well as the answer itself. Some people even when they are taught one thing, they go and do something else. Why is this?  Because they feel that they have to try something in order to actually put it down.  So these college students at least try it once and after that if they like it they continue on with it and if they do not like it they leave it alone. 

            Some sex positions are somewhat crazy but they are what makes having sex fun.  There are so many positions out there that people try it’s funny.  But when it gets to college student most try the obvious what they are used to with friends with benefits and sometimes the unexpected with companions.  In my opinion we should be open for anything when it comes to pleasing the other half but question is will the other half be down for pleasing us. (I think not)  From a woman’s point of view if college males were willing to engage in anything that the women wanted to do (i.e. stick her finger in his anal, have a threesome with another man involved) how would they be looked at?  I mean you have to look at trying certain things in a different prospective when it comes to you having a reputation when you finish. Sex positions come with limits when it comes to both male and female. 

            In this section my results will be as fallowed: I will restate the questions that I have asked and go through one by on what each male and female says about my questions so this is where my paper stops for now.